am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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