I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
