when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
