I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
