So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
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In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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