I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I bet he comes in French.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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