If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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