so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
