Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
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Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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