This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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