My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
