I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize