I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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