well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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