there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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