I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
