you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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