from now on my penis is your penis
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
