Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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