dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you never un-have a 4some
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
