Having a random hookup so left but love u
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
