But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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