maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
