um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
