Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
