Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
