Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
