Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
