Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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