Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
