But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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