we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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