Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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