I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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