I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Randomize
