around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
