Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
