haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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