smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
