Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
