All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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