But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
