he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
