I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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