oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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