Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
