She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
