you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ladies don't puke and tell
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
