found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
