His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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