her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
