All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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