I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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