jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
