OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Boobs speak an international language.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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