I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
