were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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