in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
