I should be sponsored by Trojan
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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