found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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