Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
