I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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