Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
