You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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