PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
