Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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