hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
