Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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