i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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